Hi Walt, could you tell me who invented coffins?




Coffins were invented by Lord Ludwig Coffin in 1879, but didn’t catch on until the 1900s
when they were popularised by Boris Karloff in movies such as ‘Carry On Follow That Coffin’ etc.




Dear Mr. Walt’s Head - Is it safe to buy a used coffin?



I would strongly advise against this. There are many unscrupulous dealers out there who think nothing of making cut & shut coffins. These coffins, which look perfectly normal, are actually made up of two or more dodgy coffins in chop shop chapels of rest. At certain speeds, these coffins can break in two, causing injury to pallbearers and mourners alike, so the message as always has to be ‘BUYER BEWARE’



Hey, cryo-cranium - I've been really depressed just lately, but I can't decide whether or not to end it all and commit suicide - any advice?






Sure - hang yourself with a bungee rope




Hello W.H. - My Uncle died the other day and the family have given me the job of choosing the music for his funeral service - any suggestions?




It's important to choose something personal to your Uncle for his service.
'Freezer Jolly Good Fellow' went down quite well at mine.